Megyn, Bill or Both?

A week after the surprise discovery that we were expecting our fourth child, we had already decided on a name for each sex. Our three daughters weren’t overly thrilled with the first name we had chosen for a girl. But we figured that we would wait until our ultrasound to stress over whether we wanted to make a change or not.

The weeks came and went, and the day for the ultrasound arrived. We were told we were having daughter number four. The news was incredibly devastating to our youngest, who had built up her hopes for a brother in spite of our suspicions that it was indeed another girl. By this time, she was the only one who still didn’t care for the girl name we had chosen, so we knew it was time to get down to business and decide if there were other options.

I had been tossing around the name Megan for a girl, but I liked it spelled with a “y” – M-E-G-Y-N.  My husband, Tony, wasn’t sure about the name because he had a cousin named Megan and didn’t know if he wanted to duplicate. Because twins run in my family and because I LOVE picking out names, I always enjoy thinking about possibilities for two boys, two girls or one of each. I was trying to talk Tony into Rylan or Riley for a twin alternative. He determined early on that if we were to have a child named Riley it would be for a girl, not a boy.

A week after the ultrasound, our family of five was sitting at Steak ‘n’ Shake and discussion turned to the baby’s name. We talked about various combinations and finally Tony’s eyes lit up and half joking, he said he MIGHT be able to consider Megyn if we said she was named after Megan Kelly on Fox News. He googled her name on his phone to show me who she was and low and behold, we discovered that her name was spelled with a “y”, exactly the way that I preferred. It seemed like a sign.

Then Tony got a mischievous glint in his eye and said, “Hey, you liked the name Riley. We could name her after Megyn Kelly and Bill O’Reilly and call her Megan Riley!” We laughed about it but for the rest of the day, we tossed it around in our minds and aloud. My hang up was the fact that we had started a pattern without realizing it. Our first daughter’s name started with a “B” and each of the other two daughter’s middle names started with “B”. I wasn’t sure I wanted to break that pattern with our last child. Each daughter also had an unusual name and a more common name. Megan Rylee didn’t exactly fit that criterion.

Several hours later, getting ready for bed at 1 a.m. my mind was still swirling and we were still saying the name, “Megyn Rylee”. Thinking out loud, I mused, “What if we combined the “B” from Bill and the “riley” from O’Reilly and made Briley?” It would fit the pattern of the middle name with a “B” and the common name combined with the unusual. Again, Tony googled the name Briley to see if there was such a name and how we would spell it. I consulted the baby name books lying on the floor beside the bed. One had the name; the other didn’t. And though I’d never personally HEARD anyone with the name, there were several spelling variations to choose from.

Over the course of the next few days, we finally decided on Megyn Brylee – and that is how two Fox News reporters were the inspiration for our fourth daughter’s name!

She's Here!

You've Come a Long Way, Baby!

Today, I was looking through my box of misc memorabilia for something and happened upon this ultrasound picture from when I was pregnant for Kerrigan, 8+ years ago. I was amazed at the difference!

Ultrasound of Kerrigan, 8/18/00 at 18 wks, 2 days

Ultrasound of Megyn, 1/23/09 at 20 wks, 5 days – approx 8.5 yrs later
(she’s giving us a thumbs up =)

In Memory of Mom

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my mother’s death. Last year, I had cried so much throughout the year that when it came to this day, I didn't want to schedule a day to mourn. I just wanted to relive the good memories. So we chose to do something happy in her memory. Tony took me to town and we picked out two hanging baskets of flowers for our front porch. Every time I looked at those throughout the spring and summer, I smiled.

This year, again, I wanted to celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. So I decided to splurge and shop at a store in the town where the girls attend school. The Jack ‘n’ Jill Shoppe reminds me very much of the New Yorker in her town where Mom loved to buy baby clothes for all the grand kids.

It was fun looking at all the beautiful clothes and trying to see them through Mom's eyes. There were two or three outfits that were definitely her style but this one just stood out to me. When I finally took it to the counter, the sales clerk told me she thought I was right in going with it. She said that it was the one I reacted most strongly too of all of them. I cannot wait until G4 is big enough to wear it.

Mommy's Having a Baby

The sibling next to me in my family line-up is a sister 7 yrs and 10 months my senior. Welcoming me into her world was not an easy thing for her. But unfortunately that detail wasn't discovered by my parents until many years too late. Having that knowledge and knowing that Kerrigan will be getting her eight year position as "baby of the family" usurped, we have been making an attempt to involve her with my pregnancy in anyway we can. She was especially looking forward to the possibility of a little brother (so she could still be the baby girl - her actual words upon finding out I was expecting!) We tried our best to prepare her for the fact that we were most likely having another girl. So it was even more important after the ultrasound to make sure she felt a part of the changes happening around here.

I was very excited to find out that the hospital offered a "Mommy's Having a Baby Class" for siblings ages 3-8 yrs old. And how much cooler was it that she was the only one of our girls to qualify. It was all about her. She has been waiting quite impatiently since my first doctor appointment for the opportunity to attend this class and last night was finally the night.

The first thing they did was draw a picture of their family for the new baby. Then Nurse Chris read a story to the group. After the story, each child was given a teddy bear of their very own, a tape measure, an I.D. bracelet and card, a diaper, t-shirt with the hospital name and a hat - all the same as the ones that will be used on our new arrival at the hospital. They measured the bear's length, head and chest, weighed it on the digital scales and then dressed it up for it's trip home. We were then given a tour of the awesome maternity ward. It was too beautiful to describe. All I can say is it compares to a hotel room without the carpet!

While we were in the class, a little chime went off with the first few measures of "Rock a Bye, Baby". About 10 minutes later, it went off again. The song signified the arrival of a baby, so we were privileged to see two brand new babies in the nursery during our tour. Of course, all that made us anxious to see our little one and yet apprehensive for all we know that goes along with her arrival. All in all, the evening was a huge success.

What I've Learned While Baby Shopping (recently and in years past)

• JCPenney’s baby socks stay on
• JCPenney’s has the softest receiving blankets and if you can catch them on sale, they aren’t much more expensive than Wal-Mart or Target
• Cloth diapers (which I use for burp clothes and which consequentially became my children’s “bankies” b/c I would put them under their face while sleeping – and which was doubly AWESOME b/c I had not one special bankie but 12 or 18!) are cheapest at Wal-Mart
• Target has the best deal on gowns anywhere around…Chico brand are soft and three in a pack for $10 (even Wal-Mart wanted $10 for a pack of two!)
• Target’s Chico brand onesies are actually thicker and softer than my previously preferred JCPenney’s Okie Dokie - and cheaper to boot
• And last but not least, everything looks so tiny I can’t believe it will fit anything other than my daughter’s dolls but my sister says I will be surprised.

Progression - Nov thru March

Finding the Balance

I said I'd never be a facebooker. Was pretty adamant about it in fact, my husband is quick to remind me. But then I got pregnant and laying in bed all day long to keep the nausea under control provided too many endless hours of boredom. Especially since no one seemed to be blogging. I thought it was due to the fabulous fall weather that I was missing out on. But now I have my sneaking suspicions that it was more of an epidemic called "Facebook". And I got hit too.

Now I spend my days checking the status of over 200 friends and family a few times a day. And updating my own if I have something new or clever to share. (Okay, sometimes it doesn't even meet that criteria =)

Anyway, now that I am doing facebook, it seems redundant for me to post some of the same news on my blog. So I am struggling to find the balance. I'm sure there are some of you out there who read my blog that have no desire to be on facebook. So you are missing out. And that's not fair. I also use my blog for a reference point when I scrapbook. I know that one of these days when I scrap the photos from the past few months, I will have a gap in my journaling because my status updates on facebook will be long gone. And anyway, those don't really share the deepest feelings of my heart...not like blogging does.

So bear with me while I struggle to find the balance. I enjoy writing too much to forsake my blog. Maybe-hopefully- it's just the stage I'm in with the pregnancy and all that keeps my brain from flourishing with an overabundance of words. And is only capable instead, of one-liners at this time.

Whatever it is, I hope to figure it out soon. If nothing else, rest assured that you will inundated with baby photos come June =)

Progression

God IS Good - part one

From the minute we told the girls (waaaaay back in the fall - seems so long ago :) that we were going to have a baby, some of Kerrigan’s first words were, “I hope it’s a brother so I can STILL be the baby girl!” Her words; not ours. I was worried from the get-go with that attitude. We kept telling her since I was so sick that it would probably be a girl but she was adamant that it needed to be a boy. After we heard the heart rate, we were more insistent that it was probably a girl but she wouldn’t hear it. When it was confirmed on the ultrasound last Friday, Tony and I were totally fine with it (I actually thought I’d be more disappointed but once I saw her squirming and wiggling on the screen, I instantly fell in love with her!) Our biggest concern was how to break it to Kerrigan and how she would take it. We didn’t know whether to take her aside or to go ahead with our "reveal" plan. We decided to play it by ear and go with the original plan and see how she reacted.

When Tony got home from work that day, the girls had been home for over an hour and were chomping at the bit to know what we were having. We gathered them in the living room and I gave them each an envelope. Britnee opened hers to find a photo of sugar pouring from a spoon. Janae opened her envelope next and it had a picture of a spice rack with these spaces and words below it “& _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ nice.” Then Kerrigan’s read, “That’s what little _ _ _ _ _ are_ _ _ _ of.” The other two girls figured it out after Janae’s was opened and they looked at each other and said, “Uh oh,” in quiet, hushed tones. Kerrigan read hers and finally said, “that’s what little BOYS are made of?” I said, “Are boys made of sugar?” and she looked up at me with hopeful eyes and said, “SOME boys are.” So I suggested we look at the spaces and see what fit. We spelled B-O-Y-S and of course had one space left over. I suggested we try the word girls. She spelled it with me and when she got to the “S”, she looked up at me with the absolute saddest eyes and said, “Gir…..” Then her face crumbled and she buried her head in my side and cried and cried and cried. It was awful. I started crying with her (and am crying as I type b/c it’s a moment I don’t think I will forget for a LONG time!) We did our best to console her and tried to explain that God knows best. She watched a minute or two of ultrasound and then went and cried on Tony’s lap and wouldn’t look at the rest. It was so heart breaking.

Each girl was supposed to call one of my sisters, but even Britnee was disappointed to the point that she wasn't ready to share. So I ended up calling two of the three. I told Aunt Barb that Kerrigan was supposed to call her but didn't want to in case that gave her any hint as to what we were having. I asked all three sisters to pray for Kerrigan as I didn’t figure we would have a positive turn around until the baby actually arrived. She was so full of anger and sorrow all mixed together. I told my oldest brother, who was disappointed for us as much as anybody, and he simply suggested that we sympathize with her. It was good advice. And that's the approach that we took.

Over the course of the next few days, I would be watching our little girl on video (Tony put the ultrasound to a song off my lullaby CD and put it online for our family's to view) and Kerrigan would come sit by me. Each time, I would point out that baby's different movements and her arms and legs or smile or nose. Just being very casual about it. And each time, I would see a little more warmth creep into Kerrigan's eyes.

Yesterday, she came home from school and handed me a drawing as she often does. But this drawing was different than the others. In the center of the page was an image labeled “Mommy, Me (Kerrigan) and Baby”. She is HOLDING the baby. I had to smile really big when I saw that! I passed it off to Tony and he grinned really big too. Whew! Prayer works. God IS good!

Shopping List for Baby Derscheid

• sugar
• spice
• everything nice

Today's Breaking News

I'M HALFWAY THROUGH MY PREGNANCY!!

I Dream of Janae

I had a strange dream this morning. I’m neat even going to try to interpret its meaning. I think I’ll forget about the strange parts and revel only in the one little tiny conversation that I had with my then 2 yr old daughter. That part was real. Very, very real.

In the dream, I had been in and out of sleep. I finally roused myself enough to realize that I was hearing the neighbor’s annoying lawn mower driving around my trailer. It was fall and he had been complaining that I had done the proper “yard prep”. It was driving him crazy but I didn’t have the energy or the drive to tackle it. I was in the trailer with my 2 yr old (who happened to be Janae) and my mother. We were all napping but it was past supper time.

I woke up, checked the meat that was on for supper and put on my coat. I was sneaking around the things outside trying to see what the neighbor (who had now gone over to his barn) was going to do next. I wanted to confront him but didn’t want him to see me until he was back on my property. Fall leaves covered every inch of the yard and there were trees scattered as far as I could see but not densely thick like a forest.

I could see my mom through the window in the kitchen fixing biscuits for supper. The neighbor was on his way back over to our place and I headed across the yard to meet him when out of the corner of my eye I saw a little girl in a purple corduroy jumper and cream turtleneck (an outfit she had in real life) toddling across the yard to me. I picked her up and squeezed her tight, then we had a conversation that went something like this:

Mommy: Did you tell Nonnie that you were awake?
Janae: Yep. I woke up kying.
Mommy: Oh, I’m sorry. Were you crying because you didn’t know where everyone was?
Janae: Yep. I started frowin a fit. Then I held my breath. But Nonnie prayed and Jesus healed me.
Mommy: I’m sorry that you were scared.
Janae: I sink I was sad, then mad, then bad.

And then I woke up. But that conversation was so very real to me. I could hear the inflection of her voice and exactly how she sounded at that age. And I had to grin because maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to hear that little two year old voice again in a couple years - if this next baby follows the pattern. Because Kerrigan was like Britnee, so shouldn’t the next one be like Janae? We will see.

And Life Goes On

I sit here enjoying my fireplace (electric, that is...I only wish instead of the annoying blowing sound, it crackled like a real one), laptop on my...lap of course, and I open up all the blogs I follow for some new reading. There are a few new posts but most of them, I just click shut as it's the same post that's been there for a few days or maybe a week or two. I am fine with that. People are busy.

But then it dawns on me and suddenly a wave of discouragement hits me. There are no new posts because everyone else is BUSY! Life is going on around me. They are enjoying the busyness of my favorite season, enjoying the brisk fall weather and everything that goes along with it. And I have to miss it! I know, I know...it WILL be worth it in the end. But for right now, I don't feel pregnant - only sick. And I HATE that feeling. The shock and awe of the positive pregnancy test has worn off. It's day after day of sitting or laying on the couch, surfing the web, watching Little House on the Prairie or napping. But, hey, enough doldrums! Let's take Dad's optimistic attitude for a change (I used to think more like him - what happened?)...this too shall pass and I intend to enjoy this pregnancy to the fullest once I feel better!

I distinctly remember a moment when my friend and fellow blogger, Janiece, was expecting Kallee. We were sitting in the same pew in church and suddenly she got my attention. "The baby is moving!" she exclaimed while she pointed to the little kicks visible through her shirt. A pang went through my heart and stomach. I didn't think I would ever feel a baby moving inside me again and that struck me so hard. I'd enjoyed holding everyone else's babies (and enjoyed handing them back when they got fussy :) so I thought I was over all the wanting. And it was a good feeling. But that night, I remember feeling so sad.

Well, now is my chance. And I'm excited for all the new discoveries that we will experience. Especially with the girls being older and able to understand a whole lot more than they did when they were 3 and 5 years old. We might not have planned it, but hey, life goes on :)

Due the end of August...

to my nephew, Paul,
his wife, Beki and

big-sister-to-be, Zoe!

Congratulations!!

My girls are so excited they bugged me every day last week to call and see when Paul and Beki were going to find out what they were having. I told them not to worry, we would be hearing from Aunt Gail as soon as the news was out. And we did. So, yep, I told the truth in every single post. We were waiting anxiously for the news, we will be buying baby girl clothes and Zoe (pictured with me in the previous post) is getting a li'l sister to love and spoil rotten. But when Beki sent me the ultrasound pictures that very night (isn't technology great?!), I felt mischievous...maybe I was lacking attention...whatever you want to call it, it was fun while it lasted. And yep, some of you were right, I was sitting here at the the computer laughing over nearly every comment. My only worry...I was holding my breath waiting for some of you to bring up the the little fact that I HAVE gained weight over the last few months.

Hope you all can sleep tonight - I actually had trouble sleeping last night if it makes you feel any better :) And just consider this a little belated April Fool's joke since I was on vacation without internet over the 1st.

A Little Sister for...

...lovin' and spoilin' rotten...

The News that We've Been Waiting For...

Should auld acquaintance be forgot...