And Life Goes On

I sit here enjoying my fireplace (electric, that is...I only wish instead of the annoying blowing sound, it crackled like a real one), laptop on my...lap of course, and I open up all the blogs I follow for some new reading. There are a few new posts but most of them, I just click shut as it's the same post that's been there for a few days or maybe a week or two. I am fine with that. People are busy.

But then it dawns on me and suddenly a wave of discouragement hits me. There are no new posts because everyone else is BUSY! Life is going on around me. They are enjoying the busyness of my favorite season, enjoying the brisk fall weather and everything that goes along with it. And I have to miss it! I know, I know...it WILL be worth it in the end. But for right now, I don't feel pregnant - only sick. And I HATE that feeling. The shock and awe of the positive pregnancy test has worn off. It's day after day of sitting or laying on the couch, surfing the web, watching Little House on the Prairie or napping. But, hey, enough doldrums! Let's take Dad's optimistic attitude for a change (I used to think more like him - what happened?)...this too shall pass and I intend to enjoy this pregnancy to the fullest once I feel better!

I distinctly remember a moment when my friend and fellow blogger, Janiece, was expecting Kallee. We were sitting in the same pew in church and suddenly she got my attention. "The baby is moving!" she exclaimed while she pointed to the little kicks visible through her shirt. A pang went through my heart and stomach. I didn't think I would ever feel a baby moving inside me again and that struck me so hard. I'd enjoyed holding everyone else's babies (and enjoyed handing them back when they got fussy :) so I thought I was over all the wanting. And it was a good feeling. But that night, I remember feeling so sad.

Well, now is my chance. And I'm excited for all the new discoveries that we will experience. Especially with the girls being older and able to understand a whole lot more than they did when they were 3 and 5 years old. We might not have planned it, but hey, life goes on :)

April Showers Bring May Flowers

That is what my sister said when Mom left us April 21, 2007. Her namesake, Zoe Violet, was due to arrive around May 28th. We had known for some time that Paul and Beki were having a girl and what the baby's name was to be. Mom was so excited to have a great-granddaughter named after her. Several of us girls (including Beki :) were hoping that Beki wouldn't go over her due date into June. In fact, we thought it would be especially neat if Zoe was born on May 21st, exactly a month after Mom's passing.

But we heard Mom say it before and we would have heard her say it this time, "this baby wanted her own date." Zoe Violet made her debut around 9:30 pm on Tuesday, May 22nd! She weighed 7 lbx 5 oz and was 19 inches long. Zoe means "life". So incredibly fitting, don't you think?