I sit here enjoying my fireplace (electric, that is...I only wish instead of the annoying blowing sound, it crackled like a real one), laptop on my...lap of course, and I open up all the blogs I follow for some new reading. There are a few new posts but most of them, I just click shut as it's the same post that's been there for a few days or maybe a week or two. I am fine with that. People are busy.
But then it dawns on me and suddenly a wave of discouragement hits me. There are no new posts because everyone else is BUSY! Life is going on around me. They are enjoying the busyness of my favorite season, enjoying the brisk fall weather and everything that goes along with it. And I have to miss it! I know, I know...it WILL be worth it in the end. But for right now, I don't feel pregnant - only sick. And I HATE that feeling. The shock and awe of the positive pregnancy test has worn off. It's day after day of sitting or laying on the couch, surfing the web, watching Little House on the Prairie or napping. But, hey, enough doldrums! Let's take Dad's optimistic attitude for a change (I used to think more like him - what happened?)...this too shall pass and I intend to enjoy this pregnancy to the fullest once I feel better!
I distinctly remember a moment when my friend and fellow blogger, Janiece, was expecting Kallee. We were sitting in the same pew in church and suddenly she got my attention. "The baby is moving!" she exclaimed while she pointed to the little kicks visible through her shirt. A pang went through my heart and stomach. I didn't think I would ever feel a baby moving inside me again and that struck me so hard. I'd enjoyed holding everyone else's babies (and enjoyed handing them back when they got fussy :) so I thought I was over all the wanting. And it was a good feeling. But that night, I remember feeling so sad.
Well, now is my chance. And I'm excited for all the new discoveries that we will experience. Especially with the girls being older and able to understand a whole lot more than they did when they were 3 and 5 years old. We might not have planned it, but hey, life goes on :)
8 comments:
You've brought tears to my eyes! I'm sorry for you that you're missing the running-around of autumn, but at least you won't be pregnant all summer!
I can't tell you how happy we are for you. This is definately a cool suprise for all of us! (FCA has been positively buzzing with the news, of course.)
And although I imagine that I want to have all of my kids close together, I'm thinking that it's very cool that your girls will be so involved with this baby. You've got your own free babysitting service! Great training for them, too.
Excuse me, Caiden is trying to put on Karissa's Dora panties and has both legs in one hole!
Ah yes, now he looks adorable in orange panties with a little ruffle on top.
I'm rambling now. I'm just very happy for you. (But oh, so empathetic of your sickness!)
Well, as mom D. always says, "this too shall pass." Just think, next fall you'll have a little one to enjoy the season with:)
Hope you feel better soon!
You really sound miserable :(. I guess I didn't realize how bad you had it. I really hope you get to feeling better soon. Do you normally get really sick with yours? How far along are you?
Hopefully the sick part is over soon for you so you can really enjoy the pregnancy. (I loved being pregnant.) :) When are you actually due?
This will be a fun experience for the older kids, that is for sure! :)
You need to post often so gals like me can live vicariously thru you. :)
Oh, Sara, I am so excited for you! Well, not the sickness part, of course! :-) I have experienced that all too recently myself. I almost despise being pregnant, and I know that sounds terrible. The reward is that first look and cuddle with another fresh baby from God! Nothing can replace that moment! I think it is great that you are having one at this stage; with your girls as old as they are, you should be able to enjoy this baby even more. My Mom had my youngest sister when I was 13, and I loved spoiling the baby. (And handing her back when the diaper was icky! :-)
I hope the nausea passes quickly! I truly understand and know that there is hardly any other sick feeling that compares. A friend who had maybe one slight bout of nausea told me she'd rather have nausea any day than labor. I tried to hold back the look of absolute disdain and kindly told her that she had never really experienced nausea then! I have endured MONTHS of nausea and a horrible 36 hours labor with no meds, and I still prefer labor. At least it produces a baby at the end.
Happy upchucking! :-) Just keep focused on the sweet baby. That is the only remedy I know that works!
Sara, I can sympathize with you; was terribly sick with both children, and had to have IV's, etc. Mine was pretty much the whole 9 months and my life was on hold all that time pretty well. But the minute that baby was born, no more throwing up! LOL
I hope you have a little boy and that I can help spoil him!
SARA!!!! I am soooo out of the loop--Congratulations! I am happy for you and hope it is a boy :-)
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