Planning Ahead

It's almost impossible to get a decent picture of my father-in-law. Anytime the camera is aimed in his direction, he puts on a goofy face. Shortly after the death of both of my parent's, I told him one day, "We are going to have a really hard time finding an appropriate photo for your obituary!" Though the comment took him by surprise, it didn't change a thing.

I reminded him of it again when they were down recently to help us the week of Megyn's birth. And again, he was uncooperative.

Last night, we met them at Culver's in Greenfield, not far from where they are working at their General Youth Camp. I was snapping pictures of him with Megyn while he was chatting with Tony. I kept getting terrible expressions (not his fault for once) and asked him if he would please give me a pleasant face. Somehow I got this expression and was totally shocked.

So shocked in fact, that my next comment was, "Hey! I think we might be able to use this one for your obituary!"

He has decided not to eat my cooking anymore :)

In Memory of Mom

Yesterday was the 2nd anniversary of my mother’s death. Last year, I had cried so much throughout the year that when it came to this day, I didn't want to schedule a day to mourn. I just wanted to relive the good memories. So we chose to do something happy in her memory. Tony took me to town and we picked out two hanging baskets of flowers for our front porch. Every time I looked at those throughout the spring and summer, I smiled.

This year, again, I wanted to celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. So I decided to splurge and shop at a store in the town where the girls attend school. The Jack ‘n’ Jill Shoppe reminds me very much of the New Yorker in her town where Mom loved to buy baby clothes for all the grand kids.

It was fun looking at all the beautiful clothes and trying to see them through Mom's eyes. There were two or three outfits that were definitely her style but this one just stood out to me. When I finally took it to the counter, the sales clerk told me she thought I was right in going with it. She said that it was the one I reacted most strongly too of all of them. I cannot wait until G4 is big enough to wear it.

Last of the "Firsts"

Today is the anniversary of my father's death. And hopefully one of the lasts of all the firsts we've all had to face this year. I will post more on Dad later but right now, I wanted to leave you with a quote that I found and has been my favorite for the last several months.

Thanks for the Memories

What can I say, Mom? Words fail me at this moment. And yet I want to, need to mark this day as something significant to me and those who shared my love for you. I don’t want to sort through photos nor do I want to read the words that so many friends and family left on the website Tony did for you. What I really want to do is visit the cemetery, place some pretty flowers near the grave marker and just sit a while and remember. But I’m too far away to do that. So instead, maybe I’ll go pick up a pretty flower or two in town and in the mean time I’ll remember. Not sad thoughts of this day one year ago, but happy thoughts of years gone by.

Thoughts of you singing “How Much is that Doggie in the Window” to your little straggler – one who no doubt wore you to a frazzle day in and day out.

Thoughts of you giggling while working in the yard with Dad and watching me try to ride my much bigger, much older sister’s bike. I couldn’t sit on the seat and reach the pedals so I sat on the bar and my knees reached way out to the side like a frog.

Thoughts of you fixing fudge and popcorn for a snack on Sunday afternoon.

Thoughts of you and I shopping for a sailor dress for the newest granddaughter.

Thoughts of you sinking down on the piano bench next to me, putting your arm on the piano and your head on your arm and laughing yourself silly when Dad sang, "the load was oh so heavy upon my hairy back", then finished the song having absolutely no clue what he'd done wrong

Thoughts of you and I playing Skip-Bo on the bed in the middle of the night in Pennsylvania when Dad was away working and neither of us could sleep.

Thoughts of you craftily getting Dad to take you out for supper the night of my first date with Tony so he wouldn’t be at the house to intimidate him.

Thoughts of you laughing with my mother-in-law-to-be when you both realized that you’d chosen the same suit for our wedding – purple for you, teal for Betty.

Thoughts of you gasping in sheer horror when I turned from just having eaten a dill pickle to popping a piece of your fabulous fudge in my mouth (I was pregnant for Britnee and we decided it must be the sweet/sour combo).

Thoughts of you acting like you didn’t want Dad to kiss you in public, but secretly delighting in it, I think.

Thoughts of you taking care of me and my little girl when I was so terribly sick with another baby incognito.

Thoughts of you instructing Dad to, “Pray, Art, pray!” when Janae did her color show for us and turned all shades of purple that infamous night in 1998.

Thoughts of you bringing down a huge bag of MORE pink clothes the night before I was to be induced for our third daughter and then beaming with love and admiration when the labor and delivery was over and I’d survived it even with the administration of Pitocin that you so adamantly hated any of us girls to have to endure.

And the last and final thoughts of you being able to recognize Dad during the times you were awake in your final week on this earth. Patting his cheek and telling us all, “This is my husband and I love him.”

I love you, Mom, and as I sit here with tears pouring down like rain, I think Kahlil Gibran said it best with this statement, “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Thanks for the memories!

A Lesson from Lice

“Are you or is someone in your group in a desperate situation right now? Read Genesis 21:19 again. Might there be a ‘well’ for sustenance, if only you could see it? Pray alone or together, asking God to open your eyes just as He opened Hagar’s and aided her in her desperation.”
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes, with your right hand you save me.” Psalm 138:7
I read these words in my devotion today and fear struck my heart. “Not another tragedy, Lord,” I thought, “I don’t think I can handle it right now.” Then knowing the enemy is the one who instills fear, I immediately grabbed hold of the promise that God has a plan and He knows what it best. He knows how to turn anything to work for my good and He promised that He would be there - always. I went on with my day.
Less than an hour later we received a phone call from the school. You are going to laugh when I tell you what it was concerning, but my heart sank at the words that came out of Tony’s mouth. “They think our kids might have head lice!” he declared with urgency in his voice. I panicked. I freaked out. I just knew my life had ended for the next few weeks. Head lice!?!?! I have three girls - two with very long, thick hair. How will we ever manage to get rid of it and be sure it’s gone? I had not been down this road before as the parent, the one in charge.
While I grabbed a quick shower I do what I often do there and had a little chat with God. I think that works for me right now because it’s the one place where I can have complete and total solitude. I can laugh, cry, sing and weep and no one hears me but God (at least if they do hear me, they have never let on). By the time my less than 10 minute shower was over, I came downstairs with a completely different perspective. Head lice shouldn’t be that big of a deal. It’s not a terminal disease or life-threatening illness. Yeah, we’ll be inconvenienced for a few days or weeks while we do constant laundry and keep vigil over these little critters. It could be a whole lot worse. So praise the Lord we are all healthy!
And now here I sit at the end of this grueling day. Exhausted, weary, hurting because I have had hours of stand-up work to do with a very sore heel; thoroughly shampooing a thick head of hair (only one daughter had it) vacuuming, vacuuming and vacuuming, laundry and more laundry and then getting the bedding back in place so a tired little girl can finally go to sleep. I still have piles of stuffed animals that need tossed in a good hot dryer and we have ordered a better kind of shampoo so there is more work to come in the next week. But for today, my work is done. And as I threw in that last load, I remembered my devotions from this morning. “Lord, was this the difficulty I was to face today? It hasn’t been easy and certainly wasn’t the evening I envisioned. But it could have been so much worse. So if this was it, thanks for not allowing it to be more serious. And thanks for helping me to put things into perspective. That in and of itself is the most important lesson that I could have walked away with today. You are so totally worthy of praise – in good times and in bad times. And if you are there to calm me and teach me when I’m dealing with something as mundane and commonplace as head lice, how much more will you be there in times of difficulty and devastation?”
It's then I remember the last part of the devotion that reads, “Praise God because he is an all-knowing Father who hears the cries of his children. Nothing that happens to us can ever escape his notice." [from something as simple as the call about head lice to something as distressing as the call that your father is gone forever.] And that is a promise we can take to the bank – because I’ve proven it.

Eight or nine students were sent home. We weren't the only ones that had the privilege of dealing with it.

RE: Friends and Mother's Day

A friend gave me a REALLY, REALLY nice card today. My favorite one yet.

Front:
“As You Honor Your Mother”

Inside:
You’ll never forget
your mother’s face, the sound of her voice, the gentleness of her touch…they let you know you were loved.

You’ll never forget
the traditions she handed down, the things she stood for…they are her gift and your legacy.

You’ll never forget,
and you’ll always know that you honor her every day in how you live and who you are.

With Deepest Sympathy

She included a note stating that she was sure this weekend would be a difficult one for me, and that she was praying for me, etc. It was so nice. She felt really bad Sunday because she hadn’t had a chance to get a card in the mail but this one was worth the wait.