Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Next Survivor Series


Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called MOTHER!


Please note that this in NO way reflects my husband. But I do know a few that would struggle to win this game :)

9 comments:

Michelle said...

That's funny!

Rodney does help me with a lot of that and I know I'm lucky! I also know of some who would struggle!

Anonymous said...

I'm cracking up! I told Jeff the other day I wish he could just once feel the horrible hormonal feeling and he said ---oh believe me I feel it--the brat! He also took Jaida to the Dr. for me a few months ago with specific instructions cause I knew they would ask details(ear infection)It was so funny when he got home and said--they asked me all this stuff that I didn't have a clue about(he wasn't listening when I told him!)But, you know what he is great in alot of ways and thats what matters!!!!
Julie

Anonymous said...

Like it....like it.....

Anonymous said...

That was so funny!! My husband does pretty good, so no complaints here, but I know some that wouldn't have a clue.

Leah said...

It would be quite interesting to try for JUST a day! LOL

Martha C said...

This is hilarious and makes me feel like a hero!

Janiece said...

Very cute! Jerry helps me out A LOT, but there are several on that list that he wouldn't have a clue on, ha!

Tamra said...

I hadn't really thought about how much we moms actually do until I read your post. The funny thing is, there's no time to prepare, one minute you are carrying this huge, round basketball in front, then the next minute - voila! You're mommy - along with all the duties that come with the job!

LaDonna said...

Loved it! I would probably PAY MONEY to see this made into a movie!!!!! My husband's great, but there are SEVERAL things on this list he wouldn't have a clue about. However, I would NOT want to spend ONE DAY in his world, so I guess it evens out?!