Does Marsh Do Returns?

I’m thinking not and even if they did, it’s probably not worth my time to explain my reason to the clerk. But I have this bag of $2.50 pretzels sitting here that we will most likely not consume. Long story…get comfortable and I’ll try to give you the abridged version.

A few weeks ago, thinking ahead, Janae hopped online and did a search for cupcakes for her birthday treat. Memory evades us of this child taking cupcakes to school. I do not recall exactly WHY but for some crazy reason she hasn’t. So, realizing this and knowing that I went out of my way to make sure our friend had some to take when we were babysitting overnight on his birthday in September, it kinda seemed a must for me this year. That or be banished to the “world’s worst mom” list (which I’m pretty much already on most days).

So Tuesday evening, after not having a vehicle (both without heat…one in the shop; one being fixed by Tony – who, I should insert here, did a fabulous job for a computer geek!!) for two days which totally messed up my schedule for this busy week, I headed to Frankfort. I had last minute shopping for wrapping paper, birthday cards, chocolate chip cookie cake (another specific request) and decorations for Rudolph cupcakes.

I start out stressed because the only chocolate chip cookie cakes on the shelf were decorated with Santa and this mama refuses to mix birthday with Christmas for this child born 6 days before the celebrated birth of Baby Jesus. It’s probably more important to me than her but I still have my standards and with good reason! I finally get someone from the bakery to give me the time of day and they offer to do a birthday cake up for me. Yay! So it’s on to conquer the rest of the shopping list: chocolate frosting, check; candles, check; cards, check; gift wrap, check; curly ribbon, check; cinnamons for Rudolph’s nose, check; big twist pretzels – none to be found. Want pretzel rods? Mini pretzels? Circle pretzels? Pretzel sticks? NO, NO, NO and NO! It has to be big twist pretzels for Rudolph’s antlers. It doesn’t matter how many times I bend over and peer to the back, the space on the shelf remains empty.

I head back to the bakery to pick up the cake. After I pay for my purchases I call Tony so he can order pizza while I make a quick run to McD’s for the birthday girl’s Happy Meal (her choice). Mad dash into Aldi’s - I KNOW I’ve seen big pretzels there. None. Okay, let’s try Marsh. Nothing. Not believing that three stores don’t have these big pretzels and knowing that I’m going to have one disappointed almost 10 yr old at home if we can’t complete the Rudolph look, in desperation, I finally grab these BIG, FAT pretzels (see comparison to the left) thinking someway, somehow, I might be able to do SOMETHING with them for antlers. Tony calls and says it’s going to be 15 minutes before the pizza is ready. I decide to try Dollar General. Nada, zilch. The whole time I am praying for sincere guidance and direction and the Lord is saying nothing (ever been there?) I finally see one last sign up ahead and think it’s worth a shot…Dollar Tree. BINGO!! Lots and lots of bags of big twist pretzels and for $1!! Thank you, Lord. But why didn't you just direct me there in the first place? Oops, I know...we aren't supposed to question You.

When I brought home the food, I hid the bag of mongo huge pretzels. We ate while I informed our soon-to-be 10 yr old that "next year there will be NO pre-conceived notions or high expectations of birthday cakes or treats until we look for and find ingredients ahead of time. So don’t get your heart set on anything, girl!" Lecture over. We frost the cupcakes and put on the eyes and noses. I fiddle around with the big twist pretzels a bit until I get them to break in the right places for antlers. I never did it exactly like the example but they still look cute.

Looking over the finished product, it suddenly strikes my funny bone that I was even contemplating being able to convert those fatso pretzels. I pull out the bag and show Tony. He rolls his eyes and questions me, “You were going to try to use those? On cupcakes?” “Hey," I say in my defence, "desperate times call for desperate measures! Do you think Marsh accepts returns?” “I doubt it,” he responds and leaves the kitchen shaking his head in disbelief.

Editor's note: I'm going to see if they will let me exchange them for some waffle pretzels. These look simple to make and fun to eat!